I saw American money today - you know, the dollar, the cent, the "freedom pony" (alright, fine, I made that last one up). Anyway, my discovery was fitting given tonight's much-anticipated "AMURICA Night" at St. Antony's College, and my current frustration with a never-ending accumulation of British coinage. But, the sight of the good ol' "greenback" made me realize how little "America" I've been exposed to lately. I actually forgot what American money looked like - its feel, its size, its...blandness. I know, I know, I'm being a traitor or whatever, but seriously - American money is b-o-r-i-n-g. In the words of my good friend, and American, Dan: "
Our money is so ugly compared to British
money. Look - they have a pretty queen and Darwin and Adam Smith on
their money, and we have...racists."
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| Calm down there, "Wicker Man"... |
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Honestly, let's consider the facts. American money has two colors - green and white - is bombarded with images that make absolutely no sense (except when haphazardly strung together in a sub-par Nicholas Cage film franchise), are all the same size (aesthetically dull), and feature some guys we're honestly not that proud of (Lincoln aka Daniel Day Lewis? Sure, a hero. Jackson? Attempted to kill all Native Americans, and can suck it.) Ya, OK, we "upgraded" our note a few years ago, enlarging the man-head in the middle and adding some tie-dye or whatever. But, that's another thing - American money only features dudes (men, hombres, you get the point). British moneys, on the other hand, in all of their multicolored glory, not only vary in size respective to its note-value (the larger the monetary value, the physically bigger the note), but they also feature women - and interesting people! Not only is The Queen displayed on the pound sterling, but so are: Charles Darwin (naturalist & friend of the Galapagos), Elizabeth Fry (prison reformer), Adam Smith (philosopher & economist), and James Watt (inventor of horsepower and, well, the watt...ya, that watt - like the measurement of energy in a light bulb). A competition, you say? I think not.
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| A comparison... |
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| ...in lameness |
I'm not saying this to liberally berate America, or American money. Nay - I am simply pointing out the supremely more awesome version of currency used in my new living-land. Yes, there are totally annoying aspects of British legal tender as well - for one, my aforementioned frustration with a buildup of coinage. But, still, it keeps you on your toes, and it's kind of nice when you realize your pesky "cents" are actually "dollars." It's like finding 14 rolled up notes in your jean pockets when you take them out of the dryer...except, in England, they're not all weathered and ruined...because they're metal.
Well, there are two people making out in front of me at the pub, and a small dog just ran in and challenged me to a staring contest, so that's my cue (I guess?)...toodles!
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| Look into mine eyes - I dare you! |
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